Reclaiming your attention – setting better boundaries with tech 

In this day and age, it’s safe to say that the majority of us clock up some pretty hefty amounts of screen time each day. Many of us stare at computers at work, only do the same with our phones in our free time. In a bid to improve my overall wellbeing, I recently started to reassess the relationship that I have with tech, especially my phone and social media.

When you boil it down, a lot of the recreational time we spend on devices such as our phones is usually a means of distraction, it puts our brains into an autopilot state – we consume content without really thinking or noticing. This siphons our time and attention, and if we’re not careful it can add very little value.

We could probably all benefit from spending a bit less time on our devices and more time in the real world (that was certainly the case with me) so here are some ways that have helped me to do just that. Do I still spend too much time staring at a screen? Yes, of course. But it’s trending in the right direction.

Turn off push notifications

We’ve all been there. A notification pops up and before we know it we’ve spent half an hour mindlessly scrolling on our phones. Push notifications provide the brain with a hit of dopamine whenever they flash up on our screen making them too tempting to ignore. This only reinforces the constant compulsion to check our phones (yes phantom vibration syndrome is a thing). The easiest way to defuse this addiction is to turn push notifications off. In doing so, you reclaim your attention and focus simply by dictating when you want to give things such as social media your attention rather than the other way around.

Personally, I only have push notifications active for my email and my WhatsApp (which only the closest people in my life have access to) so I’m only notified about high priority activity. All other notifications are switched off (including all social media platforms).

Limit screen time on apps

I only recently started setting time limits for apps, namely Instagram and TikTok. Assuming you’re using an iPhone, once you’ve exceeded your apportioned daily time limit (for me it’s two hours) then your screen gets blacked out with a reminder saying you’re out of time. Although these app restrictions are incredibly easy to circumvent, that bit of added friction does (for me at least) provide enough of a deterrent to check these apps so mindlessly.

Out with the old

I enjoy incorporating minimalism into my life as much as possible (within reason of course) and my phone is no exception. I try to have as few apps on there as possible, I delete all photos and videos off my phone and back them up to an external hard drive weekly, and I frequently delete conversations and clean up my contacts. You get the gist. I look at my phone as a functional tool rather than a repository of information. I know this won’t work for everyone as many like to use their phone as a time capsule (in which case you do you). I know for me personally, having it as empty as possible means that I don’t end up raking back though all the stuff on there when I’m bored.

Delete, unsubscribe and unfollow

It’s good to regularly review what you’re consuming online as it has a massive influence over us (hence  how the term ‘influencer’ came about). Your energy is your greatest currency and your attention is a form of your energy. It’s more valuable than you know and protecting it is so important. Be stringent with what your attention flows towards, especially if it does not add value in the form of genuine interest, education, inspiration or entertainment. Nothing and no one is entitled to your attention and you’re allowed to revoke it at any time.

This can look like unsubscribing from junk emails or social media accounts that perhaps you don’t align with anymore. Or it may look like unfollowing (or muting) people who you’ve not spoken to in ages (and are unlikely to connect with again in the future). This is something none of us should take personally, it’s usually never that deep.

News apps are another good example. I removed all news apps from my phone as I don’t think it’s great for our mental health to get push notifications throughout the day, usually bearing bad tidings. Of course I think it’s important to be informed about what’s going on in the world but I think it’s better to check when you have the mental bandwidth, rather than when being constantly updated as it breaks. I also think that being drip fed news can desensitise us to it.

Turn off read receipts and ‘last seen’

Turning off read receipts and ‘last seen’ (specifically on Whatsapp) is a game changer. In fact, I wish there was the option to turn off read receipts for all platforms. These things are a way of instilling pressure to reply quickly and be constantly accessible. I’m a bit of an introvert so sometimes I don’t feel like replying right away, or I want to take time to think about what someone has said to me before I respond. Turning these off helps to take some of that pressure off. 

Night mode

Night mode is another great iPhone hack which I’ve only recently discovered. Similar to the app time limits, it’s another way to implement boundaries around phone usage. I used to be awful with scrolling on my phone before going to bed, especially on TikTok which is probably the worst thing you can do as flicking from one video to the other at speed is so overstimulating. Night mode has really helped me to break my bedtime scrolling habit. Instead of going on my phone until I start to feel sleepy, I’ll read a physical book or write out a ‘to-do’ list for the next day on pen and paper.

Have a day without screen time

When reflecting on the overall relationship that I have with tech, I realised that I can’t remember the last time I went a whole day without looking at a screen. It had probably been years. Having a day each week with no screen time, or a mini digital detox, is what I am hoping to get to one day. I can imagine it’s probably quite a good thing for our overall wellbeing to simply unplug for a bit. Although I am definitely not at one day a week as of yet, having a screen-free day every now and then is a start.